The 'WTF' Movie of the Decade

Prometheus
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Opening Date: June 8th, 2012

Starring
-Ridely Scott as Himself
-Woody Allen as Himself
-Francis Coppola staring Himself
-George Lucas as Himself
-Thor
-Iron Man
-The Hulk
-and the rest of the cast form Marvel's upcoming super hero team movie, "The Avengers".

The Plot
The great director Ridely Scott, he who created such daunting American classic films such as 'Alien', 'Bladerunner', and "Axe Murderer Diaries" returns to the silver screen with a documentary about his backyard barbecuing experiences with the new, top of the line outdoor grill named 'Prometheus" (for sale at at you local Target or Kmart stores.)

The Review:
First of all, the promotional campaign for this film was 100% deceptive. It advertised 'Prometheus' as a sequel to Ridely Scott's 1980's sci-fi classic, 'Alien'. But in all truth there's not a single alien or space ship in this film except the special effects models sitting over the director's fireplace. Instead this film shows director Ridely Scott showing off his new Prometheus Barbecue Pit to some of Hollywood's biggest directors. From Woody Allen to George Lucas, they all stop by to taste some of Ridely's home cooking and then stare and gaze with complete amazement at the polished black surface of the Prometheus.

Now I have to admit it, the new Prometheus barbecue grill is a super sexy vision of beauty, but to try and sell it as a sequel to 'Alien' borders (crosses?) on criminal behavior of the highest kind. I like barbecue just like the next man but I'll be damned if someone is going to charge me $12.00 a ticket to watch a bunch of famous old directors consuming (sloppily), huge fresh cooked ribs, chicken, and who knows what else. And to sit there watching people eating barbecue while I and the rest of the audience ate stale popcorn and dried out "Twizzlers" was sheer torture. After about an hour of that nonsense I had to run out of the theater and locate me a barbecue-selling shop fast.

The directing on this film was preposterous to say the least. As that fat headed, ego-centric Ridely Scott cooked his ribs he simultaneously tried to film the entire party around him, dropping his camera up to 10 times in the process. Then he would stand up and turn the camera towards himself while grinning like Lucifer on weed. The location standards were poor too. The entire barbecuing scene took place in some lousy, cheap to rent backyard of somebody's ghetto home. I could've sworn I heard gunshot over that stupid Woody Allen who chomped and smacked his lips so loudly that you could barely hear the soundtrack and background noise on the film itself.

Over all, this was a bad, bad flick. But it did have at least one redeeming quality and it was in the scene where Ridely Scott chews out George Lucas. He called George Lucas a "film school level director with half stolen, half twisted stories" plus a traffic ticket backlog of cases going back 35 years! By outing Ol' George he immediately became the leader of the fledgeling anti-Star Wars movement.

Conclusion: Go see this retarded, incredibly stupid movie but don't expect much except a bunch of bad acting and way too dumb dialog.